You don’t know my social life, home life, the state of my physical health, nor my mental. And you certainly do not know the gymnastics my brain completes while actually engaging in a simple conversation with someone outside of the fixed environment of my head, even if it looks like a conversation is progressing normally … Read More
Please click the title text for more information. This is an archive of the writings I have wrote to keep myself sane. The writing I’ve meant to dedicate to my Cave Story adaptation is something I’ve redirected for here instead. Being able to list out my grievances in an attempt to ensure that I’m not … Read More
I don’t know why I’m lying to my friends and saying that I’m getting better. I have done nothing but deteriorate in the past few years and I am beyond disgusted at what I became.I’m not going to say that it feels like I am living someone else’s life. I am living someone else’s life. … Read More
I’ve had this post open on a blank slate for days, and neglected to write a word in it until now. It isn’t selfish to leave, or to desire to leave, and not everyone needs nor wants help to be “fixed”, if it is a rational and premeditated decision on their part. I’m not particularly … Read More
Time: 04:05am I don’t speak about this often for good reason, but it’s almost impossible to go in public in general, especially at this point. I look forward to meeting coworkers at work, despite the act of talking and seeing other people mentally exhausting to the highest degree; yet if I’m alone, it’s not possible … Read More
I can’t even cry. The knot in my chest grows stronger, but tears just don’t come out. Every rush feels like a physical animal punching the inside of my chest. Thinking is physically hurting me, causing me to reel in pain.
Being around people right now is toxic for me, and for them. People want to talk to me and I can’t physically do anything but stay quiet, even if I wanted to. I don’t know if it’s anxiety, but some executive function inside me is forcing me to be verbally silent. The last time this … Read More